Monday, March 6, 2017


For the past few weeks I've been participating in a seminar called Beyond Fitness. For me, it's been the structure I needed to get myself back in the game and focused. I'm still participating in Biggest Winners at BDHQ and love that program, it holds me accountable. The seminar is broader than that though, we are looking at really creating the bigger why. Not the same old eat better and workout, heck most people aren't even in the seminar trying to lose weight, this is really about what are you creating for you life that is bigger than fitness and would have you take the actions to stay healthy. I've been grappling with this for awhile and have been going through the motions of going to the gym, eating better, trying harder, and seeing some results but the overall experience is still the same and the results minimal...this is hard work!

There I was yesterday, my alarm goes off at 7:30 after having a restless night with Abi who is teething and I decide to go back to sleep and not go to Biggest Winners. 8:15 rolls around and I can't sleep because I'm thinking about how I should have just gotten up and gone even though I was so tired. Have you ever had those moments of regret, or make wrong, and then the rest of your day follows suite? I could see this playing out for the whole day and after a little sulking and a push from John I got myself in my car heading for Esquimalt Rec. As I pull into the parking lot, which i've been in many times before, I see the under construction signs and how far the playground has come and I realize my WHY. I imagine the park being finished and Abi being her energetic self one year from now wanting to run around and play and realize if I don't do something NOW I won't be the Mom I promised her I would be. She is my why, being an example for our miracle is why I am doing this. Yes i want to feel better and fit in smaller clothes and have my fitness back, but what I really want is to be able to keep up with Abi and be an example of what's possible. In a recent group talk I was in on empowering mothers the presenter said, spend as much time on yourself as you do on other people, your kids are watching. I want Abi to group up loving herself first, taking care of herself, and being healthy, she wont have access to learning this if I'm not this for myself.

Now I am "under construction" building every day the pieces of a whole hearted, strong and loving mom. Right now I am the possibility of trust and love, I have everything I need to be the example for Abi every day. I'm grateful for my community who is rooting me on.

Friday, January 20, 2017

A new beginning

Well life has altered for me in the last year more than I could have dreamed. On August 31, 2016, John and I welcomed our beautiful daughter Abigail Grace Joan Westhaver into this world. After dealing with infertility, disappointment and frustration for years she is our miracle and worth waiting every minute for. I'm so grateful to have a year off of work to bond and raise her.

Personally I dealt with a lot of health challenges in the year and was unable to work out to the same degree I was used to, I also wasn't focused on tracking my food or prepping like I have in the past. Needless to say losing weight was not my focus, being healthy was. Now that we are settled and enjoying our time it is time for me to focus again on getting my body back. Abigail is getting bigger every day and it's important to me to be the kind of mom who can be active with her kids. At the beginning of this month I took the important step of signing up for Biggest Winners again and rejoining the program that I know makes a difference for me. It is for me a community and a group of people who are cheering each other on and i'm honored and thrilled to be back in the program. Unfortunately I got hit with that nasty cold a few days ago and have been home resting (as much as possible with a 4 month old), I hope to be back to the gym soon.

With rejoining Biggest Winners I really had to ask myself, what would have this be different for me? What would have me stay on track? I'm dealing with new circumstances, with not having the same freedom to just get up and go as I had before so how to have it work? I'm grateful to John for fully supporting me in this and taking Abigail as much as possible so I can prep our food and get to the gym. I know that weight loss is really 80% food for me, 20% working out, and to be honest i've never really found alot of inspiration in food or prepping my meals but I know it makes a difference. What I created for myself is the possibility of being loving, that is loving of myself (taking the time to be at class and prep food), loving of my daughter (that is putting food in my body that not only nourishes me but nourishes her) and loving what i'm up to (that is bringing joy and satisfaction to every workout, even when I don't want to wake up or leave my warm comfy bed). This possibility really inspired me into action these last two weeks. I fully took on all the meal planning and food prep in our house and i'm so proud of myself because I've thrown out 0 food, in the past it would look like food waste every week because I wasn't being responsible for planning or preparing the veggies. We also haven't gone out to eat at all which is saving us money (part of my other goal for 2017).

I'm really excited for the year to come, we are travelling lots (Hawaii, Mexico, Vegas, Caribbean) and creating our time at home as fulfilling. I'm also really clear that what has me win at the game is to have people behind me who support and encourage me so thank you to everyone that is on my team.