Wow 2015 has sure flown by, I got present this morning to how much hiding out I've been doing in this program. Yes I've been going to the workouts, but I haven't been honest with my food. Yes i've been talking alot about how being fit and active is what I want, but my actions are inconsistent with that. Even promising this morning in class to write a blog post brought up that I will look bad and be ashamed because I haven't been doing it and know that really I should. Now taking actions because I "should" can sometimes get me somewhere, but often it just leaves me resentful. What I created for myself last week in our check in was being playful and committed. Inside of being playful and committed I have a different access than just working hard which is what committed normally brings. So when I sat down to write this blog post I went back to my last entry and realized it is almost exactly what I want to say right now. It is a line of demarcation that life isn't going this way anymore. Now I did that for awhile and then I let life "lifed" me and took over. I wasn't responsible, it's all on me and no one is coming to save the day. I don't say that to make myself feel bad or put myself down but really because being 100% responsible is my access to having my life go the way I say it's going to go. So in January I drew that line of demarcation in the sand then swiftly covered it up with some stuff - conversations that i'm not good enough, conversations that my time isn't valuable and excuses. I've really taken the time this last week since starting a new Biggest Winner session to put the integrity back into my health. I've been honoring my workout schedule, I've been eating on plan and I've been drinking my water. Now all there is to do is to continue to honor who I am is my word, that is BEING PLAYFUL AND COMMITTED in all aspects of my life, even if at 5:30AM I don't "feel" like waking up to work out, being playful and committed is what is present.
Today in our check in I promised to take on my water in the 21 day challenge. That means 3 litres every single day of water. The small steps are what really make the difference, no overwhelming, no going for broke, but one foot in front of the other, one action at a time. And again, I am re promising to write and create in this blog again - I know it makes a difference not only for myself but for the hundreds of people who read it. I'm sorry for disappearing and I'm back!!