WOW, I'm almost speechless right now, which is interesting considering how much talking i've done this week.
Some of you may not know but this last week I was asked to come and speak for wellness week at the Ministry of Finance, not once but twice. I used to work for the Ministry of Finance prior to moving to Federal Government in 2010 so I knew that I would be speaking in front of some people that I knew already. It's interesting because talking in front of strangers is somehow easier than talking in front of people I know. I would say that there is less of a threat to my identity in talking to a stranger than there is when talking to people I know. I also know that it just wouldn't be a demonstration of who I am now to say no to this opportunity though, so I jumped in.
Last time I spoke in front of any kind of large group about my health was for Sole Sisters. I remember the hours leading up to it having body sensations of shaking, tears, anxiety, and at the same time being able to so powerfully put that all to the side and do what I was there to do - make a difference. What was different this time was a few things, first I was talking for an entire hour, not just 20 minutes, second I didn't write anything!! Usually, my sense of wanting to be prepared takes over and I write everything out, this time all I had was an outline of a few topics and a point of view that I created for myself that said "who I am is unwavering and a difference maker". I went into these two talks with one piece of paper, my heart and my promise that everyone in that room would be left with a new access to taking on their health. What was interesting is I spoke two days in a row with the same outline and what I shared was totally different from one day to the next. The feedback I have got from people has been unbelievable, one person even said he thought I could be a professional speaker. My experience of myself this week has been that I am powerful and connected to why I am on this journey. I was again re-connected to the why of this journey, to have my experience help someone else.
If you have been following my blog for some time you will know something about me, I take on things that scare me. Something that you might not know about me is that even though I take on things that scare me I still am confronted by those conversations in my head every day, I still was shaking minutes before I got up and spoke, I still had thoughts like I was going to fail or disappoint and I still wanted to run away. The only difference is that I allow those conversations to not own my life now, I get to say how my life goes - not my past or those past based conversations. So how do I say life will go for me? I say that I am enlivened, lit up and that me and the people around me win every day - now THAT is what my life is about, if what i'm doing doesn't fulfill on that then i'm a no. I've stopped saying yes to things that don't line up with what I say my life is about anymore.
My invitation to you is to look at what you say you want your life to be about and then ask yourself, is what you are doing in life fulfilling on what really matters to you? If you aren't a yes then what are you going to do to take the say back? If what is important to you is losing weight or transforming your health it isn't just about that, look at your whole life because this journey is not just weight, this journey is your life and it is never ending so go have fun and create life!