Sunday, October 6, 2013

What I GOT in the ILP

On Friday I completed a 7 month journey of self, better known as the Introduction Leaders Program (ILP) with Landmark Worldwide. Looking back at these last seven months I have done a lot of growing. In reflecting on that before class I was having a hard time seeing the results. It's kind of like weight loss, you see yourself every day it is so hard to see the results until you look at a picture from 3 months ago. In this program though I had huge results for my life.

1. At the very beginning of the program I was asked to share my story in a local running group. When I was first asked I figured it would be like 15 to 20 people so I said yes, later I found out I would be speaking in front of approximately 200 people. Imagine my face as I sat at my desk on the other side of a telephone call being told it would be 200 people, it kind of looked like this....

ok or maybe more like this....



or imagine something in between those two reactions, I think my response was something along the line of silence as Mena said "oh is that okay that it's 200 people.....are you still there?" And I said "ummm...yes that's no problem". Immediately after I hung up the phone I was dreading this and in this program dreading is not a place we want to be. After some self talk and a phone call with my coach I was clear I was no longer dreading it, I was excited that I was about to make a difference for 200 people. I just watched the video again today, I hadn't seen it in several months, and was reminded of those body sensations I felt as I stood there. What else it reminded me of is how far i've come in just these few months that now if someone asked me to do that I would have no problem saying yes to it. Here's the video for those that missed it.



2. Throughout my weight loss journey, and my life in fact, I have had this context for who I am like "i'm not worthy", "i'm not important", "what I think doesn't matter". I've written and shared about this multiple times and throughout the last few years I have had glimpses of finding "self worth" and then it fades. When I entered this program how I was relating to myself was the same, I was uncomfortable with my biggness, I didn't want ot be acknowledged or looked at. It's like this...


I can truly say that I have changed the way I look at myself. What I got in this program is that who I am for the people in my life is someone who makes a difference. I make a difference even when I dont know i'm making a difference just because that is who I have created myself to be. Being a contribution is my self expression. I'm clear that I was put on this earth to go through this journey in order to empower other people in their lives and i'm even more clear now that I fulfill on that every day when I am willing to acknowledge who I am, I got that in this program.

3. Also in this program I truly got how still afraid of connection I was. I was intimidated by people who were really self expressed or out there and I had it like I was the odd person out. What got created out of this program was a community of people all out to have each other win in whatever we were all up to. I started to play games with myself to have connection become fun. For example, last week I played a game with myself called "authentic connection" and the game was I would make a comment or talk to every single person I met that day, wether it be standing in an elevator, at a cross walk or in the line up at the coffee shop. I got that in the past I would never do that, I had it like what is the point of even talking to the stranger in the coffee line up? They will never remember me. But what this did was open up a whole new world of connection with people all inside of simply saying "Hey, I love your outfit, you look fabulous". Now I get that my connection with people is all my creation, moment by moment I can choose to have connection or not and those moments that I choose not there is nothing wrong but I can look if there is something stopping me from wanting to be out there in the world and living.

So to sum up what I really GOT in the ILP, I got that I am whoever I say I am at any moment under any circumstances I have the choice to be unstoppable, unmessable and a contribution or I have the choice to give in to my internal dialogue of "i'm not good enough". What an incredible thing to get for myself in only seven months! Thank you to all the participants, coaches and leaders in this program who always listed to me as someone more capable than I ever saw myself to be.

6 comments:

Glan Deas said...

Wow!!! Nice post Dear!!! I ike your all the posts. I will be back for next take care.


Regards,
Kopi Luwak

Paul Stevenson said...

Bri, You are the definition of transformation, determination and commitment and inspiration to yourself and everyone you come in contact with. It was an honour to watch you on this journey.

Paul

Saket Advocate said...

I got a call for ILP, i was confused, but after reading your post, I taking it forward. You are awesome, waiting to be a part of this memorable journey. In case you have any tip, please do write to me.

Anonymous said...

Thank you got your profound sharing. May I share to others?

Brianna Westhaver said...

Absolutely

Brianna Westhaver said...

Absolutely