Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Living Big Doesn't Mean Being Liked

Today has been quite the day! I want to talk about what it takes to really hold yourself to a game of living a life of integrity, and when I say integrity I don't mean anything moral or doing what you say you're going to do, I mean really honoring yourself. For the last seven months in the leadership program i've been taking we took on the game of having 100% integrity in our lives, in our communication, in our responsibilities, in all areas. That's a BIG game and it takes someone who is willing to get uncomfortable to play it. I had a lot of conversations in these last seven months to restore integrity, and what i've really gotten out of all of it is a sense of power like I can't even describe. I know myself to be someone who can have the conversations I've always wanted to have but didn't know how, I know myself to be worthy.

Part of this game of 100% integrity includes an agreement to not gossip, to not say anything about anyone else or ourselves that diminishes them/us in other peoples eyes, this is a hard one. So often we hear the gossip, at work, in our personal lives, in our internal dialogue...and how to avoid it? Well, I can't control what other people say or do but what I can control is my reactions and my response, what this looks like now is recreating people for the contribution they are to this world instead of the complaint people may have about them, I also don't participate in conversations where diminishing is occuring. When the diminishing thoughts come into my head I remind myself they aren't true, and those thoughts are not in line with my commitment to who I am which is a big person up to a big game.

This is all a work in progress, it's practice, and I can't say i've avoided all conversations of this nature in the last seven months but I can say that for the most part I have. What that has left me access to is giving up any hurt that has been there around what people say because I know myself to be the type of person who does not diminish another human being. I really got today that in order to live my life, make a difference, and be a big person I have to be willing to not be liked by everyone. This used to upset me, and that is still a conversation that comes up with me "no one will like me" but inside of taking action after action to further my life and the lives of people around me I am completely present to the fact that I have to be willing to put up with people not wanting to be my friend in order to take a stand for something much bigger.

There are many changes coming my way, and a lot of unknown in terms of what my life will look like right now. To be honest i'm terrified and more confronted than i've ever been, but the difference is that I have complete power and ownership of this fear. Who knows what tomorrow holds, all I have is access to who I am today and what choices I make this very moment. So my question for you, where in your life does gossip occur? Maybe its about yourself, maybe its around your friends or your family, take a took and are you willing to give up that complaint? The only person we have total control over is ourselves, be the one who is a stand for your own life!

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