Sunday, September 29, 2013

Put Your Mask ON!

Today marked the completion of our Biggest Winner sessions, always an inspiring day to see people who have committed 12 weeks of their life - blood, sweat and tears - to transforming their body. There were some incredible results with interviews to come (stay tuned), for me I walked in this morning knowing that I had not done everything I could do in these last 12 weeks to take care of myself.

Something I got present to this week is that I have simply not been responsible for ensuring my well being is taken care of and also that I have not been willing to say so. I often get confronted by this conversation of "im not allowed to slip up, im not allowed to struggle" and what it has me do is just not be responsible. So i'm fessing up, I have NOT been responsible. Sure I've got my workouts in, and my food has been good (when I eat) but I have had trouble sleeping, have had a lot of pain in my back and even though my food has been "good" it hasn't been excellent. EXCELLENT & IMPECCABLE is what is called for in my game of health, and let me clarify, impeccable doesn't mean i'm not able to have balance, it means being impeccable with the reason behind why i'm eating. I have not been responsible in being conscious of the emotion behind the food, I have been eating mindlessly or just not eating at all and that DOES NOT WORK. This doesn't work for my body, for my well being, for the people that i'm here to support, it simply doesn't work at all. It's just like the flight attendant says, "put your own mask on before helping". My mask has been dangling there waiting for me to put it on. Today it is on, I am responsible and playing the game of being excellent and impeccable. No beating myself up, simply putting actions in place to be present this week.

My question to you, what have you not been responsible for in your own health? Maybe something small, , maybe something really really big, and if you say nothing - I assert there is something so take a look. What are you going to take responsibility for and cause a change in RIGHT NOW?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Living Big Doesn't Mean Being Liked

Today has been quite the day! I want to talk about what it takes to really hold yourself to a game of living a life of integrity, and when I say integrity I don't mean anything moral or doing what you say you're going to do, I mean really honoring yourself. For the last seven months in the leadership program i've been taking we took on the game of having 100% integrity in our lives, in our communication, in our responsibilities, in all areas. That's a BIG game and it takes someone who is willing to get uncomfortable to play it. I had a lot of conversations in these last seven months to restore integrity, and what i've really gotten out of all of it is a sense of power like I can't even describe. I know myself to be someone who can have the conversations I've always wanted to have but didn't know how, I know myself to be worthy.

Part of this game of 100% integrity includes an agreement to not gossip, to not say anything about anyone else or ourselves that diminishes them/us in other peoples eyes, this is a hard one. So often we hear the gossip, at work, in our personal lives, in our internal dialogue...and how to avoid it? Well, I can't control what other people say or do but what I can control is my reactions and my response, what this looks like now is recreating people for the contribution they are to this world instead of the complaint people may have about them, I also don't participate in conversations where diminishing is occuring. When the diminishing thoughts come into my head I remind myself they aren't true, and those thoughts are not in line with my commitment to who I am which is a big person up to a big game.

This is all a work in progress, it's practice, and I can't say i've avoided all conversations of this nature in the last seven months but I can say that for the most part I have. What that has left me access to is giving up any hurt that has been there around what people say because I know myself to be the type of person who does not diminish another human being. I really got today that in order to live my life, make a difference, and be a big person I have to be willing to not be liked by everyone. This used to upset me, and that is still a conversation that comes up with me "no one will like me" but inside of taking action after action to further my life and the lives of people around me I am completely present to the fact that I have to be willing to put up with people not wanting to be my friend in order to take a stand for something much bigger.

There are many changes coming my way, and a lot of unknown in terms of what my life will look like right now. To be honest i'm terrified and more confronted than i've ever been, but the difference is that I have complete power and ownership of this fear. Who knows what tomorrow holds, all I have is access to who I am today and what choices I make this very moment. So my question for you, where in your life does gossip occur? Maybe its about yourself, maybe its around your friends or your family, take a took and are you willing to give up that complaint? The only person we have total control over is ourselves, be the one who is a stand for your own life!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Put Yourself on the Line

I just arrived home this morning from another trip to San Francisco, this time it was the first weekend of a new leadership program with Landmark Worldwide. This time I am coaching the program, I am responsible for 10 people really getting who they are in this world. SOOOO Exciting!! What I really got out of this weekend for myself was how I can know myself to be a person of integrity and enrollment, to come from a place of enrolling others in what i'm up to, what is possible in this world and really what I am out to create for myself and others. I was given access to this on a whole new level. Lots of people think of enrollment as something to do to a person, like he is either enrolled in what I am saying or not, in fact enrollment is more a place to speak from. For me, enrollment is the willingness to put yourself on the line for what matters to you and really this isn't always comfortable, actually its generally not comfortable at all.

Last week I shared about how I had taken on stopping the dis-empowering conversation of diminishing myself and who I am. I really have taken this on, this includes having really vulnerable and scary conversations and speaking my heart. It included getting honest in some relationships where I haven't been willing to say what's been confronting for me, to protect the privacy of those I shared with I won't mention the details but let me just say I was really raw, real and spoke my heart. What that was like for me was one of the scariest things I've ever done, I don't want to hurt people, I don't want people to not like me, and in the process what has happened is I have been suppressed and diminished. Having these conversations were like experience my own courage at a whole other level, I got to be someone I haven't known myself to be. Now I know this is all general and broad and hard to grasp onto when i'm not giving specifics, but what I want you to know is that what I really really got is that in life when our heart speaks and our logical, mechanical, brain stops it the most empowering thing ever is to speak your own truth. What I got was that regardless of what the other people said in response to me speaking my heart, I got to know myself as someone who is truly vulnerable, brave and courageous. The difference that has made for me is that now I have access to so much more freedom in my conversations, not that there is zero fear in being straight with people, but that I know what's on the other side of being straight is so much more. What's on the other side of being straight is knowing myself to be someone who can ask for what matters to them.

What matters to you? What have you been afraid to ask for because it might put you at risk? Take a look, one conversation could alter your whole relationship to yourself.

XOXO

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Done Diminishing

This entire summer has felt like a blur, but a good blur. I was in San Francisco for my final Landmark weekend, spent time with incredible people and got filled up with so much love. This course is almost over and I am so grateful for the connections I have formed, but more importantly grateful for the person I have created out of being willing to be brave and bold. I have some exciting projects on the go, including finishing up my book which I have been avoiding. I have been avoiding writing in general, it started occurring like a chore instead of a contribution. So by the end of this year I will have completed a book, I will be on my way to creating a speaking tour across Canada and will continue to be out there in the world making the difference I want to make.

Something I really got this summer was how much I tend to diminish my own self, I think alot of us do that, and I realize I do it all the time actually. I don't want to be seen, I gained weight to not be seen, I lost weight and didn't want to be seen, I started being out there with people and still didn't want to be seen. Secretly I wanted to hide and be alone because that is safer, my judgments are safe - the rest of the world would just be disappointed in me. I saw for the first time these last few months how my ongoing concern, that of wanting people to like me, has cause me to hold back and diminish who I get to be in the world. Now not to say that "story" will just disappear, but I can see it so clearly now, I can see how every time I stop myself in taking an action this voice in my head comes back "they won't like you if you say that" or "they will think you are stupid", and when I hear the voice I can now have choice to say it anyway or do it anyway. I am done diminishing who I am and who I am for other people, I know I am someone who makes a difference and that isn't being snobby, I do. And I want to use that ability to make a difference to really have those people who are scared see that it is possible for them, not only in weight loss, in anything they are struggling with.

I don't talk about my past much because there has been alot of shame there, alot of "you wont like me if you know", I just diminish it like it doesn't even matter. What I want YOU to know is that I have a past just like each of you, I have a past of pain, secrecy, shame and loneliness. I have a past of sitting alone on Friday nights with a box of pizza and a dozen donuts because they were more my friend that anyone else. And, when I get confronted, when something comes up that is scary for me like "they won't like me" then I can feel the pull to order the pizza or eat the empty foods that do nothing for me. The difference now is that I can actually recognize it, acknowledge it for what it is, and not hide it. What's happened over the last few months for me has been me hiding, going back to "they wont like me", and avoiding being someone who makes the difference. What I commit to is being freed up around saying what needs to be said, being straight with people instead of stepping over what others may have stepped over in the past. Weight loss and health all comes down to YOUR commitment to taking the actions, regardless of the circumstances, that is what will make you successful. So if you are ready to have power back in your life my invitation to you is to take an action, just one action, then another, then another, and every time you take an action CELEBRATE IT!! Doesn't matter if you post it on facebook or call your best friend, but acknowledge your actions even if they are small. Today I acknowledge myself for stepping away from the food at work and being present to what matters to me, my health. Today I acknowledge myself for being brave, vulnerable and for not giving up even when the circumstances dictate otherwise.