Monday, June 17, 2013

A New Take on Failure

Wow, what an incredible weekend of learning in Seattle. I just got back last night (well early this morning around 2AM) from my third weekend for the leadership program I have been taking with Landmark. A big conversation over the weekend was that of failure. The question being where do you hold yourself as a failure? Not like "i'm a failure at putting away the dishes" more like "i'm a failure as a wife" or something of that nature. I'm asserting that we all have this conversation in our head, about where we are failures and it is so dis-empowering!

My "failure list" consisted of the following:
-I am a failure at marriage
-I am a failure at pregnancy
-I am a failure at weight loss
-I am a failure at business
-I am a failure in my career
-I am a failure at finances
-I am a failure in conversations
-I am a failure at integrity
-I am a failure as an ambassador
-I am a failure as a daughter

I'm sure if I sat down and thought for longer than a few minutes I could have concocted a whole bunch more but this was my starting point. So looking at this list had me feel pretty crappy with myself, look at all these things I have failed at! Then something happened in this conversation on failure....We were asked to read our list out loud, then we were asked to read the list again but just read the words, not the "I am a failure at" part. What I got was that these are all things I am committed to, these are all areas of my life where I am committed and dedicated to elevating my performance and effectiveness. What I also got was when you hold yourself as a failure in these areas you get to not be responsible AT ALL. When I say "I am a failure at weight loss" because I haven't been losing weight what i'm really doing is not holding myself accountable for my actions. By being a failure it means I am no longer responsible for the outcome. In reality I am not a failure, I have simply failed at taking certain actions - there is a difference.

What I got present to this weekend is that failure actually has nothing to do with who I am, it is totally disconnected in fact from who I am. I failed at taking actions, but the powerful Bri is not a failure. So what am I committed to now? Re-tacking my health, being responsible and not a failure! What is now available for me to do is re-introduce more intense exercise again, trust my knee to last and eat 100% clean - no excuses. Ask yourself, where have you held yourself as a failure...then ask yourself am I avoiding being responsible for the outcome of this area of life? If the answer is yes, then take on empowering yourself to be responsible in that area, you will be amazed at what comes from that.

"I failed my way to success". Thomas Edison

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