"Just have one doughnut, it won't kill you"
"You don't need to lose more weight, aren't you skinny enough?"
"Come on live a little"
These are only a few of the statements I have heard throughout this weight loss journey. The saboteurs! Those people in our lives, weather intending or not, that try and stall our efforts. Just when you get into a rhythm and start to make progress there are those individuals that slip in the comments here and there. What can we do about it? Nothing really, we can't control how someone else reacts to our success, but what we can control is our reaction to their statements.
For me first I must recognize why they are making these statements and trying to sabotage me. Really, I know they care, but what I have come to realize is that the people who are saying these things are either people who are stick skinny and never had a weight issue, or also struggle and are scared to see you succeed where they are not. Jealousy plays a huge role, and trust me I have faced that a lot in my journey. My reaction now is to just invite them along for the ride. Instead of giving into the temptation I say no thanks and invite them to bootcamp, which they then graciously decline :). I can't force anyone to make changes they don't want to make, just like they can't force me to give into temptations and give up what i've worked so hard for. It's all a choice, bottom line, it's even a choice if I decide to let their sabotaging efforts affect me.
So after recognizing WHY people try and sabotage me, I then developed further strategy for responding to it. In my current workplace I have been there almost two years, I've been pretty much the same size the entire time I've been there so my current coworkers did not see my entire weight loss transformation. In order to ensure I was on track I had to set expectations with my coworkers when it came time for pot lucks, I simply told them that I had worked really hard to become healthy and that i'm not willing to sacrifice that, I brush off the jokes. They are now very respectful of my choices, and I am often complemented on my control. With my friends, most have seen me go through this transformation and how much work I put into it, when going to parties or BBQs I try to bring something healthy as a dish to ensure I have good options. I bring my bottle of water, and keep myself busy with catching up on their lives instead of catching up on my lack of chips in my diet.
Here are my "Top Five Tips For Dealing With Sabotage"
1. Recognize why the other person is trying to sabotage you
2. Plan ahead when going into social situations
3. Set expectations with your coworkers/family on what is ok and what isn't
4. Vocalize your goals and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself
5. Create your environment to be conducive to your healthy lifestyle (ie. don't keep chips in your house for your friends when they come over)
Question: What do you do to deal with external sabotage?