Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Just Keeping Busy

I'm sitting here with thoughts of donuts and chips and food swirling in my head. The internal battle of food versus strength is currently happening inside my head which is why i'm writing because i'm doing anything I can possibly do right now to remind myself that I don't want to walk down those stairs and eat a large blizzard or consume the large bag of chips that is sitting in my cupboard.

Unfortunately I didn't measure up to par to get the promotion I had applied for, but I can deal with that and move on because I have come to realize that is the nature of working in the type of job I work in. The problem was coupled with the news that I had failed on the work front I had again failed on the home front. You know same old story that happens every month and same old disappointment. Today was extra hard though because I had just been to see Stephanie's beautiful baby girl yesterday and left that hospital room so proud and happy for her but at the same time so sad for myself. I reminded myself that when it is the right time it will happen, but that talk gets old really fast.

So as I was coming home from work all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and wallow in my sorrow. Instead I told myself how good I will feel if I just exercise, the cramps in my stomach and my emotional cramps will subside if I just work it out. My dear Tonia took me on a little adventure run around Mt. Doug and I knew after about five minutes in that everything was going to be okay. Like I said before, I have never been disappointed in a workout, I just have to start and get myself there.
I know I must remain positive and be grateful for what I have, my health, a home, a wonderful husband and amazing friends. So I will keep myself busy and go to bed early to avoid the chips and ice cream that are calling my name. I will stare at this picture of the old me and remind myself that I never want to be that way again.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

I am fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to work at a company that has free ice cream bars. I was about to go get myself a Twix ice cream bar, but I read your post, and it gave me the motivation to resist. I've lost around 60lbs in the past year, and it makes me feel great knowing that someone else struggles with the same things I do. Thank you for sharing your journey.