Saturday, August 13, 2011

Looking Back - Why? How?

I've been asked alot lately what have I been doing to lose all this weight? I think because I started a new job in November alot of people didn't know the old me, they didn't see the whole transition, so now that I've been there awhile they've seen a difference from November to now. This got me thinking about a couple things, one is unsolicited advice and the other is why I started in the first place.

What I mean by unsolicited advice is something i'm sure many people have come across regardless if you are on a weight loss journey or not. It used to really bother me when people would come up to me and try and tell me how to lose weight. Stuff like "you know you shouldn't eat that" or "you know you should take this supplement or that" or "you shouldn't work out so much, it's not good for you". I find it funny when this so called advice is coming from people who have weight issues of their own. I would never randomly go up to someone and tell them what they should or should not do. If someone asks me, sure i'll answer anything, but i'm not going to tell anyone how to live their life. I really have been doing this long enough to know my body, my emotions and know what works for me, but it may not be the same for someone else. So why was I thinking of unsolicited advice? Well I just realized that the more people see me successful in my weight loss efforts, I've noticed, that the questions/comments shift from unsolicited advice to questions on how i'm doing this and why.

So when people ask me how i'm doing this I tell them about the amazing support system I have at BDHQ and my commitment to clean eating principles. I truly believe that every great success is an accumulation of thousands of ordinary efforts that no one else sees or appreciates. No one sees the time that is put in each week to make sure that I am prepared to eat clean, or the time I spend each night to organize myself for the next day, or the things I say no to so that I can be focused. No one sees the emotional struggle that is attached to all of this. Wanting to sit there with your friends and drink alcohol but choosing to drink water or having pizza but eating chicken and salad instead. No one sees how hard it is to get up at 5:30AM to work out when all you want to do is curl up under the warm warm blanket and turn the alarm off. But people do see the success, they see the difference in my body, in my attitude, in my ability to function at work because I have control of the other aspects of my life. I am proud of this, I am proud that I have the ability to balance all of this and be successful in my health journey. I am proud that I can help other people achieve the same success. I am proud that people ask me for advice (not unsolicited advice that I offer up).

Now with respect to the question, WHY? I honestly haven't thought about this in a long time, it's been over three years and i've lost 175 lbs so you kind of lose that "why" after you've been doing it this long, now it's just "i'm doing it because this is habbit, this is my life". But if I think back, I really had to hit a rock bottom place before I could start. I had to admit to myself that I needed help and needed to change. I needed to find that strength inside to say "I want this more than I want food"

I honestly look at this picture and can't even remember myself at that weight. I still feel like the same person, because I am, i'm just a much smaller version of me. But what I do remember is that I didn't think that I was that big, I knew I had to lose weight, but I seriously thought I wasnt that big. Now I look at that picture and I wonder how I let myself get there. All I know now is that the specific reason why someone starts boils down to them wanting it, you cannot want it for your friend, spouse, family member or loved one. You cannot make anyone do this and if you do they will just resent you and it will result in failure. One must make the decision that they are important enough to do this. I wish I could just reach out and make that change for all those people who are struggling, but it has to come from them. The decision to change is yours and yours alone and I am so grateful that for the first time in my life I decided that I AM WORTH IT!

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