Sunday, May 29, 2011

THE Magic Formula of Weight Loss

I get told all the time "it's so easy for you". I get this from colleagues, friends and even just acquaintances. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does, because honestly this is not easy, i'm not going to lie to anyone, this is HARD. I commit time each week to ensure I am enabling myself to reach my goal. Yes it is easier than it was when I started, but it's not by any means easy. I know what it's like to be at the back of the group and the last one up the hill, we all start there, but that's all part of the journey.

I can tell you that these last two weeks have not been easy for me at all, I've been totally on track with my work outs and my food has been pretty good, though not excellent, but my attitude I have to say has not been on the right track. I like to think that i'm good at motivating others to do what's necessary and to be a supportive friend, but sometimes I need to learn to take my own advice and not beat myself up so much. I've been pretty emotional and part of me is scared, i'm scared that i'm not going to finish this, i'm not going to finish what I started and I don't want that. I want so bad to reach 160 and say I lost 200 lbs. I know everything I have to do, I know that means being more than just good with my food, it means being excellent with my food. I know it means that I need extra cardio in my workout regimes. I know it means drinking my 4 liters of water every day and taking my vitamins. I realize this is a process and a journey, just like I tell everyone else who is struggling so I just have to take my own advice and accept that I will finish this but it may just not be on the timeline that I was hoping. I won't fail if i'm not perfect, i'll fail if i'm not committed to improving myself every day and I am committed to improving myself.

The bottom line is, there is no magic formula to weight loss, the key is consistency. Be consistent with your food, your workouts, your water and keep a positive attitude. That is my advice to others so I need to take my own advice and suck it up and get back on track NOW! :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Long Weekend Update

Wow, what a beautiful holiday weekend, tomorrow is back to work but only for 3 days at least. It was supposed to rain but it held off which is awesome. Saturday John and I went for a 13K bike ride from our house down to the water and back. I was really scared to do it at first, I didn't think I was going to be able to get up the hills or go through traffic. But after getting started I realized it's not as hard as I thought it was. I could get up those hills without even standing up on my bike, by just using my super strong leg muscles which came from all the millioins of lunges and squats i've done over the last year. This means more rides over the summer which will be lots of fun, more long rides or day trips. I love expanding my horizons of possible activities. Soccer also starts next week which will be lots of fun.

Sunday was our normal Biggest Winners class, we had another beautiful outing to the inner harbour for some stairs, stairs, run, stairs, run, lunge, squat etc. etc. etc. all while listening to the marching bands. My scale success this week was a loss of 1.5 lbs and finally getting my water over the 50% mark. Right on track to keep losing a pound a week, just have to stay focused and in the zone.

Today we had no Biggest Winners as it's a holiday. Myself, Nicki, Tonia, Debby and John went for a beautiful 8K run from clover point to the end of the breakwater and back. I used the steroid asthma inhaler the doctor prescribed me when I went last week. It was supposed to be to help my laryngitis get better faster but it's the same inhaler you would use for asthma. So I used it before I went but all that did was create a huge flemmy feeling in my lungs and I had to walk for part of the 8K. Part of that was because my legs were so sore from our Thursday AM class but the other part was my breathing. Making an appointment with the doctor regarding my asthma is my next step and we'll see what he says.

My goal this week is to lose 2 more pounds. How am I going to do this? #1 be 100% on track with my food and water as per usual #2 add in a Thursday PM & Friday workout and a big run on Saturday and #3 no double workout on Wednesday, well yes double workout but no double class, i'll go for a run before Biggest Winners instead of doing an extra class like I normally do. Cheers to a 100% super focused week!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Why doesn't everyone exercise regularly?

I have to say being sick really sucks!! Maybe the old me enjoyed staying home and watching TV and playing on facebook all day but the new me has been going stir crazy the last few days. I found out today I have viral laryngitis and am not supposed to use my voice for another 1-3 weeks until it is fully healed. But at least I am no longer contagious which means as of tomorrow I can go back to working out fully and back to work so at least I won't be so bored.

So missing the last few days of being active has felt like an eternity which begs the question why isn't everyone exercising regularly? Knowing what I know now about how wonderful this life is when you are active and healthy, I just can't see why anyone wouldn't want the same thing. But thinking back I know what it's like to be in that place of not wanting to get off the couch, of just wanting to hide in my house all day and do nothing. I know what it feels like to be 360 lbs and feel ashamed to show my face to the world. I know it's scary that you might fail. I used to be in that place of just wanting to sit home and order pizza and eat the whole thing instead of going out and being present in my life. But if I've learned anything in this journey it's that being present in my life gives me way more satisfaction than eating that whole pizza.

I came across a post today on a page I follow on facebook, Smashfit. The owner, Heather Frey, wrote something that really resonated with me:

"When you work really hard and wonder why...
Here's Why It's Worth it:
Because smaller clothes look better on you than bigger ones.
Because when you finish a workout, no matter what's going on in your life, you feel good.
Because while building your body you build your confidence.
Because it's easier to be happy than to be sad.
Because it's easier to be healthy than sick.
Because your family needs you strong.
Because you want to lead your kids by example.
Because mirrors work so much better.
Because you prove to yourself what you're made of.
Because the good energy keeps coming right back at you.
Because so much mind-time is freed not worrying about your weight.
Because when you look at you, you see you.
Because inner joy translates into your outward life."

What she wrote is so true and just spoke to me. I love "when you look at you, you see you". When I look at me I see the me I am supposed to me, not this sad depressed lonely girl, I see me. I also love "when you finish a workout, no matter what's going on in your life, you feel good". I remember this every day I get an inkling of not wanting to go workout and I remind myself how amazing I feel when i'm done, how accomplished I feel when I see the sweat dripping from my forehead and know that I put 110% into that workout.

So if you're on the other side of this equation and you just can't find the motivation to get out there and exercise I promise you that all the effort that you will put out there to get healthy will come back and reward you ten times as much. It is worth those early mornings and long days to be in this place. I welcome you with open arms to join me.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Revising My Wants

Yesterday I met with Michele again to chat about where i'm at since were 1/2 way through this session. I am disappointed to say I am the exact same weight as I was when I started this session. I am not disappointed in what I've done, i'm proud of myself, but i'm disappointed that I haven't lost any weight. Though I recognize why, i'm committed for sure and i'm not going to gain the weight back, but i'm wavering.

Like I said in one of my last posts I've had an attitude shift where I've started to feel normal, and that's true, I do feel normal. But part of feeling normal comes with this inner battle of wanting to just be like everyone else vs. doing what I need to do. I just want to be able to do all the things my friends do, like enjoy a glass of wine or go out for dinner, the "normal things", but the the other part of me knows that that is not what I need to do to lose the rest of this weight.

Lately the devil in this battle has been winning and that is why i'm not losing the weight, I know this. Even though I know this it is still very hard for me to change. I need to keep my attitude of feeling normal but shift my behavior back to being focused on losing the remaining 34 lbs. Because I truly want this, I truly want to achieve the unimaginable goal of losing 200 lbs. I want to say I did this and i'm proud of this and i'm successful. So even though I want this so much, why am I not focused? I don't really have the answer to that right now, all I can say is that I need to force myself to go through the motions and eventually i'll get my mojo back.

So going through the motions i'm completing the coaching exercise from Michele. Make a list of your 20 wants. Back in January I made a "want" list. The intent of the list is to write down thing you want, weather they are simple or not or achievable in a day or not, so you have something solid in place and a place to start. It means you can check things off your list. My list in January was:

I want...
1-to be under 200 lbs
2-to organize my food
3-to run the TC10K in 1:20
4-to organize my finances
5-to have a family
6-to run a 1/2 marathon in 2011
7-to be satisfied in my job

I can say that I have checked off the first four but the last three are still a work in progress. So here is my new list...

1-to be successful in the 10lb challenge
2-to have a family
3-to run a 1/2 marathon in 2011
4-to be satisfied in my job
5-to reach 200lbs lost by December 31, 2011
6-to get my asthma tested
7-to get my focus back on losing weight
8-to do "spring cleaning" on the house
9-to ride my bike
10-to play soccer
11-to feel in control again
12-to develop a new relationship with the word no
13-to start hiking again
14-to read a book (I don't read enough)
15-to be successful in the current job competition at work
16-to keep blogging
17-to create a 5 year business/career plan
18-to register at Camosun for accounting in the fall
19-to declutter our bedroom
20-to create a training plan for the 1/2 marathon in October

So now to check off some of those things, well it'll come with time but my #1 focus right now must be #7 and to get my focus back on losing weight. I love this quote: ‎"When someone is telling you that you can't do something, don't quit, just smile and say WATCH ME." So because the devil on my shoulder is telling me I can't do this, my angel is saying WATCH ME!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Reaching New Limits

I've had this shift in attitude the last few weeks, and just realized what it is. I'm starting to feel normal, feel like I don't stand out anymore. I can't really pin point what exactly it was that made this shift, but i'm happy that i'm getting to that place. I still have moments of feeling out of place but those moments are becoming fewer and further between.

The TC10K was this past Sunday. My goal was to do it in 1:05 which was faster than my best time of 1:08 so I thought that was a pretty good goal to reach for. I SMASHED that goal - I completed it in 1:01! I could hardly believe it when I saw the time. I was running and had what I think people refer to as a "runner's high". I felt like I was having an out of body experience and even though my muscles were screaming at me my head kept saying "keep going keep going keep going". I was passing people, I was passing people who I look at and think that they should be able to run this thing no problem. After I crossed the finish line I almost felt like I was going to collapse, my legs didn't want to work anymore, I had pushed myself beyond my limits which is a good thing. I am proud of myself and now i'm just excited for the next race which is Oak Bay Kool 1/2 Marathon Relay next weekend.

Another exciting new limit I reached was starting slo pitch. I played as a kid and loved it but have been held back as an adult in playing due to my weight. Myself and my friend Tonia joined my work team and last Monday was our first game, with no practice may I add LOL. I was nervous about disappointing my team, I was nervous that I wasn't going to be good enough. Well let's just say I definitely need some practice with getting my throwing arm back, but I was so happy to find out that every single person on that team was just there to have fun, they didn't care that I didn't play perfectly, or that I didn't get on base, it was all about having fun. This was even Tonia's first time playing any form of baseball and she rocked it as our pitcher!! I was playing the game, freezing cold, but was just literally beaming with happiness. I can't even explain the feeling, it's like you come from a place where you think you will never feel happy again to feeling normal.

So the next new limit is starting soccer in a few weeks and i'm not scared at all. I love being able to mix up all my ways of staying active, it keeps things interesting. Warmer weather will be coming which will mean hiking again and biking. All I can say is BRING IT ON and remember..."Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway."