Saturday, January 22, 2011

Gaining some perspective

Like I said in my last post, i've been having a hard time finding my motivation again, had been feeling pretty down. This morning I was talking myself out of going for a hike up Mt. Doug. What did I have better to do besides sit there and watch my PVR? Nothing! Well as I was sitting here watching a show I had PVR'd last week I got some serious perspective. There is a new show on A&E called Heavy, it is on Mondays at 7PM. They take morbidly obese individuals and teach them how to take back control of their lives. As I watched Jodi who started at 367 lbs 5'6, I saw myself, all these memories came back about what it was like to be that weight. I was just watching this show crying because that was ME!!! I was that girl, I was unhappy and out of control. In Jodi's comments at the end she mentioned that sure she still had hard times, and still struggled, but she was continuing on. Just hearing that and having that connection I reminded myself I WILL NOT GO BACK. I will struggle, I will have off weeks, but I know and believe fully that I will never ever go back. I will never stop trying and I will stay committed and determined.

After watching the show I got myself ready for my walk up Mt. Doug. We had done a Mt. Doug hike in my first Biggest Winner session and I remember it felt impossible. This time we didn't do the trail the whole way up because it was too muddy but we did the trail for the first bit and then the road. I huffed it up that hill with my Mom and didn't even feel like I had to stop. That just shows me how far i've come. And just like every workout I do, I may not have wanted to go but I ALWAYS ALWAYS am glad I went. I huffed it up that hill and we all went back down to meet Aidan who was walking this hill for the first time. I was so proud to see him get to the top. That's the power of motivation and determination, that's the power of our Biggest Winner group. Looking forward to an epic Sunday workout tomorrow!

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