Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The end of a 12 week commitment

Did I really do all of this in 12 weeks? It felt like yesterday I was frustrated with my lack of momentum and wanting to give up. Now I sit here today motivated beyond belief and totally believe that I CAN do this again.

This past weekend I went away to the Okanagan so unfortunately I missed the final wind down party. I did get a lovely call though from my Biggest Winners to let me know that ME.. yes ME... lost the most weight. Seriously - I didn't think this was possible after a year of plateauing but it is. I am so much closer to seeing that 1 on the scale its unbelievable. In 12 weeks I lost 24 lbs and 18.5 inches. I can truthfully say I am wearing a size 16 now, I fit in pants that aren't even stretchy. That is a huge accomplishment for me.

When I went away for the weekend I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to stay on track, I was scared that I was going to fall off the wagon. But it was so much easier than I though. I didn't feel deprived turning down the cupcakes or the chips. I just made good choices and felt good about it.

The next 12 week session starts October 3rd and my goal for this session is to see that 1 on the scale. I am going to have to work twice as hard as the last time to make this happen but I am prepared to do it.

Thank you to BDHQ and all my bootcampers, friends and family for your support.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

This is where i'm at now...

Let's just say these past two weeks have felt like a total blur. I have been working out pretty much every day with the exception of yesterday which was Chantel's wedding. My body is just kinda on automatic mode now, it's just get up, work, work out, sleep. But really I think that's what I need right now, just be in the zone, be totally committed to my journey. I feel like I am, I definitely wasn't 100% committed yesterday and I felt it all day and this morning but I knew that it would be like that. It was a go go go day yesterday with the wedding and getting ready and photos, but I could definitely tell the effect on my body with not eating every 3 hours and not getting enough protein and water. Today i'm refocused though, got my workout in and so glad that I went even though I physically was exhausted and definitely didn't do as much as I normally could. But you definitely feel good and rewarded after completing it... I know even though i really needed the sleep that I would not have felt as good as I do now. Push Push Push that's all I can do.

We are coming into the last week of the Biggest Winners program. I am signing up again and will do another 12 week set because it is so necessary in meeting my goal. Unfortunately i'm going to miss the wrap up and final workout/weigh in next weekend since i'll be away in the Okanagan :(. I even was trying to cut my holiday short so I could attend this but it just didn't happen with the flight schedule. Michelle has graciously offered to do my weigh in and measurements and a training session on Thursday morning though so I can still see my progress. I honestly cannot thank her enough and BDHQ for everything they have done for me. Without their support I think I would still be stuck in a rut and working out, but not losing weight. I cannot say enough good about them and the business they do.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Living the Mantra - Your Outlook

"Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself."

In toastmasters today we talked about things that scare us, weather that is losing a loved one, talking in front of a crowd of people or change, the bottom line is it all really comes back to you. The one thing that scares each of us the most is often ourselves. I have an internal battle in my head which tells me that I can't do this, that I won't succeed and always second guessing. I have to constantly use positive self talk to remind myself how far I’ve come and that I've proven time and time again that I really can do this. The LuLuLemon Mantra is so right - your outlook on life is absolutely a reflection on how much you like yourself. Some days it is a struggle to just get myself out of bed and to face the day. Some days I will be honest, I really don't like myself, I hate the way I look, I just can't seem to find the right thing to wear. But I bring myself back to the mantra and I have it up in my bedroom for that very reason. I read it and read it again until I have reminded myself that I am blessed and that things will not change unless I make the change. I can't lose momentum now and must continue on.
The hardest thing for me is the second guessing. I am finally at a point in my life where I feel like I have an amazing group of friends who care for me, but sometimes I feel like i’m an outcast – but logically I know that is just me, that is me being negative and not being confident. This is for me to work on and move past.
This journey is honestly not just about changing me on the outside but changing me on the inside to and it’s a tough struggle. All I can do is live each day and know that I can only go up from here!