Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A true test

So Sunday was my weigh in. I went in with no expectations, which turned out well. I lost 0.6 lbs, which I was honestly expecting. I know I didn't work out as much that week; I had only done 5 days instead of 6. I am happy with that number though because it is going in the right direction - DOWN! After we weigh in we ran from the studio down Government to Dallas road and then another hill workout on Dallas road. I can tell I’m running more and walking less, but still have a ways to go. It's a process though and a journey and I’ll get there.

Last night was a friend's 50th birthday, we went to Japanese Village. One of my ALL TIME favourite restaurants but really nothing I can eat. I checked beforehand if there was any healthy alternatives to their menu and was told I could ask that my meal be prepared in the kitchen instead of on the grill at the table, but only if enough chefs were available. Unfortunately they were too busy to steam my vegetables in the kitchen so my choice was either to eat an appetizer or order the meal and deal with eating veggies grilled in mass amounts of butter. Though I love the veggies and the chicken teriyaki and oh my the rice with steak sauce, I knew I just couldn't do that. I knew that if I did it and I went to face the scale on Sunday that I would have to be accountable for what I did. So I sat there at a table with 23 people and ate my small piece of chicken and watched everyone eat their veggies and meat and rice with steak sauce. That in itself was hard, just to watch it and want it so much, but when I have to field questions about why I'm not eating, it just makes it worse. I know peoples questions are just out of curiosity and that they aren't trying to hurt me, but it was just hard. I almost had to leave the table and walk away, but I didn’t. I stayed strong and I am proud of myself today for doing it. I don't know if I'd be able to do that a month ago.

Some people would say that I could have had - in moderation - some of the veggies and rice. But I know myself; I know that if I had just a little bit I would want more, so I just had to avoid it all together. I just have to keep telling myself to remain focused and determined and the results will follow. One day I know that I will be in a place that I can include these things in moderation, but for now, I must stay strong.

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