Wow, what an incredible weekend of learning in Seattle. I just got back last night (well early this morning around 2AM) from my third weekend for the leadership program I have been taking with Landmark. A big conversation over the weekend was that of failure. The question being where do you hold yourself as a failure? Not like "i'm a failure at putting away the dishes" more like "i'm a failure as a wife" or something of that nature. I'm asserting that we all have this conversation in our head, about where we are failures and it is so dis-empowering!
My "failure list" consisted of the following:
-I am a failure at marriage
-I am a failure at pregnancy
-I am a failure at weight loss
-I am a failure at business
-I am a failure in my career
-I am a failure at finances
-I am a failure in conversations
-I am a failure at integrity
-I am a failure as an ambassador
-I am a failure as a daughter
I'm sure if I sat down and thought for longer than a few minutes I could have concocted a whole bunch more but this was my starting point. So looking at this list had me feel pretty crappy with myself, look at all these things I have failed at! Then something happened in this conversation on failure....We were asked to read our list out loud, then we were asked to read the list again but just read the words, not the "I am a failure at" part. What I got was that these are all things I am committed to, these are all areas of my life where I am committed and dedicated to elevating my performance and effectiveness. What I also got was when you hold yourself as a failure in these areas you get to not be responsible AT ALL. When I say "I am a failure at weight loss" because I haven't been losing weight what i'm really doing is not holding myself accountable for my actions. By being a failure it means I am no longer responsible for the outcome. In reality I am not a failure, I have simply failed at taking certain actions - there is a difference.
What I got present to this weekend is that failure actually has nothing to do with who I am, it is totally disconnected in fact from who I am. I failed at taking actions, but the powerful Bri is not a failure. So what am I committed to now? Re-tacking my health, being responsible and not a failure! What is now available for me to do is re-introduce more intense exercise again, trust my knee to last and eat 100% clean - no excuses. Ask yourself, where have you held yourself as a failure...then ask yourself am I avoiding being responsible for the outcome of this area of life? If the answer is yes, then take on empowering yourself to be responsible in that area, you will be amazed at what comes from that.
"I failed my way to success". Thomas Edison
Monday, June 17, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Presencing Your WHY
Tonight I got really present to how blessed I am to be given the opportunity to contribute to peoples lives. I led a session I created called Presencing Your WHY for Biggest Winners at BDHQ. First, being creative is something that has previously occurred very difficult for me. I had it like i'm not creative, I can only follow structure, and that people who don't follow structures are unprepared. Tonight I decided I was simply going to BE creative and go where my heart and my mind led me. I asked questions, got to the heart of the matter, and made a difference. Knowing that people walk away looking at things in a new way haves me left feeling like a true contribution.
I realize its been several weeks since I've posted any update on my life and where i'm at and for the people who read my blog consistently I apologize for my absence. I could give a whole bunch of reasons and excuses as to why I stopped writing, but they don't matter. Really, I just haven't made the time, I haven't made it a priority and in the process I have not been living the life I designed which is empowering people in their health. I want you to know that I am back, back to being vulnerable, back to sharing, and up to some big things in my life.
What really happened was I got up in front of 200 people and shared my story and it was terrifying and exciting at the same time, and then it was freeing. Then what happened was at the same time of being totally free from the anxiety this new fear crept in, this voice that said "don't get too big Bri, people aren't really interested" and slowly I started to withdraw, stopped sharing, hoped that people wouldn't notice my absence...the funny thing is they did....the even funnier thing is I was surprised at that!! So what did I learn about all of that? Well, when i'm willing to be a BIG person meaning sharing myself authentically and making a difference that I actually DO make a difference for people. Thank you to everyone who continues to support me on this journey of learning and creating the new Bri, I am the blessed one.
I realize its been several weeks since I've posted any update on my life and where i'm at and for the people who read my blog consistently I apologize for my absence. I could give a whole bunch of reasons and excuses as to why I stopped writing, but they don't matter. Really, I just haven't made the time, I haven't made it a priority and in the process I have not been living the life I designed which is empowering people in their health. I want you to know that I am back, back to being vulnerable, back to sharing, and up to some big things in my life.
What really happened was I got up in front of 200 people and shared my story and it was terrifying and exciting at the same time, and then it was freeing. Then what happened was at the same time of being totally free from the anxiety this new fear crept in, this voice that said "don't get too big Bri, people aren't really interested" and slowly I started to withdraw, stopped sharing, hoped that people wouldn't notice my absence...the funny thing is they did....the even funnier thing is I was surprised at that!! So what did I learn about all of that? Well, when i'm willing to be a BIG person meaning sharing myself authentically and making a difference that I actually DO make a difference for people. Thank you to everyone who continues to support me on this journey of learning and creating the new Bri, I am the blessed one.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
The Kaukinen 100
Time for another success story!! I am so excited to share an amazing couple's transformation which is still happening day by day. My friends and fellow Biggest Winner participants Jon and Rebecca Kaukinen inspire me with their dedication to their family, their marriage and their health. I'm sure you will all be blown away by their results.
Here is the lovely couple before
And here they are now
And this is their story:
How much weight have both of you lost?
Jon has lost 65 pounds and Rebecca has lost 42-45 - over 100 pounds together!
When did you start your weight loss journeys?
Rebecca: I started this most recent (and most successful ever) weight loss journey at the end of June last year.
Jon: I started October 1 last year.
Does it make it easier/harder to do it together as a couple?
Jon: I think easier. I've never done it by myself but seeing how hard it was when Rebecca did it by herself, it must be easier.
Rebecca: I think Jon must be referencing the time he made me hold his Pringles chip container for him while he was driving the truck and trailer - I not only had to hold the chips but smell them! Talk about temptation! Seriously though, it is definitely easier. Jon is willing to eat most of the same food I eat so that simplifies meals. There are fewer temptations in the house (and on road trips!) and that is helpful. Jon is losing weight so fast - he makes it look so much easier than it is for me! Although that can be hard, it is also motivating for me - I have to work hard to keep up! Another challenge is childcare! It is definitely hard to get all our workouts in, but I think we are making it work. After all, we are doing this for our kids - what better motivation is that?
What do you do to prepare for your week as a busy family?
Jon: I watch Rebecca put away all the groceries.
Rebecca: Jon does more than just that - he is in charge of hard-boiling the eggs for the week while I do the rest of the food prep. Hmmmm seeing this in print illustrates the need for change in our division of labour :). Actually, he often makes us fresh salsa too Now it seems balanced, right? :) Jon is actually in charge of breakfast and I make all our snacks, as well as lunch for the kids and myself. I usually make dinner during the week since I'm home first (and I like more variety to our meals than Jon). If I don't, Jon's fallback is tacos (chicken or pork on corn tortillas). We usually schedule our workouts for the week on Sundays. I also meal plan (with input from Jon and the kids), grocery shop and meal prep. I often make soup and freeze it in freezer bags so the main part of my lunch is ready to go.
What do you do when one of you gets stuck or frustrated?
Rebecca: When Jon makes up his mind to do something, there is no changing it. He makes this seem easy. When I get frustrated, I often talk to one of the other BWs - which helps! Just to share what I'm struggling with, and know they have probably been in that same spot before, is very helpful. I also try to remember how far I've come. And I look at what I can change - do I need to change how I'm eating or get more workouts in or drink more water?
What was your Aha! moment that had you to begin this journey?
Jon: I knew it would be easier for Beck if I did BWs with her. Maybe it was also the challenge to see how much weight I could lose and see if I could stick with it.
What is the biggest transformation in your family, non weight related?
Our kids keep telling our secrets at daycare: "Dad is cutting back on chips." "Mom doesn't eat sugar anymore." We are all eating healthier.
Making time for all the workouts means that we have to make choices in how we spend our family time and struggle to balance all the things we want to do.
What is your favorite healthy date and/or family activity?
All our dates are now workout dates! We can't afford a babysitter for workouts AND regular dates too! :)
As a family, Jon loves when we do the Drill together on Saturday at B2 and the kids go to FitKids. We go out for a healthy breakfast after all together. Rebecca loves hiking with the kids and running behind them while they ride their bikes (okay, I don't love running but I'm happy that I can slowly jog behind them! :).
It is exciting to see how much our lives have changed in this last year. Thank you BDHQ and the BWs! We can't wait to see ourselves another year from now!
Jon & Rebecca - KUDOS and CONGRATS on your amazing transformations and continual dedication to having a healthy family. You both inspire me daily with your energy and commitment.
Here is the lovely couple before
And here they are now
And this is their story:
How much weight have both of you lost?
Jon has lost 65 pounds and Rebecca has lost 42-45 - over 100 pounds together!
When did you start your weight loss journeys?
Rebecca: I started this most recent (and most successful ever) weight loss journey at the end of June last year.
Jon: I started October 1 last year.
Does it make it easier/harder to do it together as a couple?
Jon: I think easier. I've never done it by myself but seeing how hard it was when Rebecca did it by herself, it must be easier.
Rebecca: I think Jon must be referencing the time he made me hold his Pringles chip container for him while he was driving the truck and trailer - I not only had to hold the chips but smell them! Talk about temptation! Seriously though, it is definitely easier. Jon is willing to eat most of the same food I eat so that simplifies meals. There are fewer temptations in the house (and on road trips!) and that is helpful. Jon is losing weight so fast - he makes it look so much easier than it is for me! Although that can be hard, it is also motivating for me - I have to work hard to keep up! Another challenge is childcare! It is definitely hard to get all our workouts in, but I think we are making it work. After all, we are doing this for our kids - what better motivation is that?
What do you do to prepare for your week as a busy family?
Jon: I watch Rebecca put away all the groceries.
Rebecca: Jon does more than just that - he is in charge of hard-boiling the eggs for the week while I do the rest of the food prep. Hmmmm seeing this in print illustrates the need for change in our division of labour :). Actually, he often makes us fresh salsa too Now it seems balanced, right? :) Jon is actually in charge of breakfast and I make all our snacks, as well as lunch for the kids and myself. I usually make dinner during the week since I'm home first (and I like more variety to our meals than Jon). If I don't, Jon's fallback is tacos (chicken or pork on corn tortillas). We usually schedule our workouts for the week on Sundays. I also meal plan (with input from Jon and the kids), grocery shop and meal prep. I often make soup and freeze it in freezer bags so the main part of my lunch is ready to go.
What do you do when one of you gets stuck or frustrated?
Rebecca: When Jon makes up his mind to do something, there is no changing it. He makes this seem easy. When I get frustrated, I often talk to one of the other BWs - which helps! Just to share what I'm struggling with, and know they have probably been in that same spot before, is very helpful. I also try to remember how far I've come. And I look at what I can change - do I need to change how I'm eating or get more workouts in or drink more water?
What was your Aha! moment that had you to begin this journey?
Jon: I knew it would be easier for Beck if I did BWs with her. Maybe it was also the challenge to see how much weight I could lose and see if I could stick with it.
What is the biggest transformation in your family, non weight related?
Our kids keep telling our secrets at daycare: "Dad is cutting back on chips." "Mom doesn't eat sugar anymore." We are all eating healthier.
Making time for all the workouts means that we have to make choices in how we spend our family time and struggle to balance all the things we want to do.
What is your favorite healthy date and/or family activity?
All our dates are now workout dates! We can't afford a babysitter for workouts AND regular dates too! :)
As a family, Jon loves when we do the Drill together on Saturday at B2 and the kids go to FitKids. We go out for a healthy breakfast after all together. Rebecca loves hiking with the kids and running behind them while they ride their bikes (okay, I don't love running but I'm happy that I can slowly jog behind them! :).
It is exciting to see how much our lives have changed in this last year. Thank you BDHQ and the BWs! We can't wait to see ourselves another year from now!
Jon & Rebecca - KUDOS and CONGRATS on your amazing transformations and continual dedication to having a healthy family. You both inspire me daily with your energy and commitment.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Open to Incredible Contribution
In the middle of a medicine induced coma I am catching up on my writing. What I had planned on writing about was my trip with Nicki last week to see Jillian Michaels but what I want to share is more present for me right now, so JM will need to wait.
Last Wednesday I was driving home, after 10 o'clock at night, exhausted, hadn't slept and hadn't eat and I just sat in my car and sobbed, uncontrollably. Feeling confronted, alone, scared, and like I am unable to do anything. Alot of it had to do the fact that I had not ate, and the rest had to do with the bottom line that I was putting my needs second to everyone else in my life and I was putting them second to needing to prove that I was good enough to do it all. I went to bed, up the next morning for work, and then again off after work for some homework for my program. Facing this homework created the most extreme emotional breakdown I have had in a long time. I am grateful for the people who were there and just listened.
The exercise consisted of looking in the mirror and being excited for yourself, telling yourself you are amazing and worth it. Mirror work has been around for a long time, but I had never done it. As I stood there looking in the mirror at myself i'm thinking "there is nothing to be excited for here". I resisted the whole exercise which took over 30 minutes, and hated every single minute of it. More tears, more tears, fast-forward to Saturday and I am having a conversation with one of my coaches about what happened. What I distinguished was that my whole identity was based on me not being good enough and that I had to hold onto that very tight in order to survive from a young age. I really really got that I was being someone who wasn't worth excitement or acknowledgment. I got that I was really good at acknowledging other people. I got that I love to be everyone's cheerleader, but in the process I am not my own cheerleader. I got that by not actually being someone who takes acknowledgment like FOR REAL takes it I do not allow room for people around me to be ok with having them be acknowledged. I was present to all of this, and at the same time overcome with so much emotion. I created a new possibility for my life on Sunday though. The possibility I invented for myself and my life is the possibility of being open to incredible contribution. I had thought at first that I wanted the possibility of being a contribution but I now understand that I am a contribution already, I need to allow other's to contribute to me.
So from Sunday afternoon I have been living through the lense of accepting acknowledgement and I was so honored to get up in front of probably 300 people and take a thank you for what I had done for someone. It is amazing when you open yourself up to seeing things in a different light what can actually be available for you. I'm not saying it's easy for me to accept acknowledgement overnight, it's still a work in progress, but inside of my possibility of being open to incredible contribution each day I am taking a step to move me closer to that simply being the way I am. Being simply open to it, this morning I received a facebook message from my sister-in-law which simply said "This reminds me of you: “I am personally convinced that one person can be a change catalyst, a "transformer" in any situation, any organization. Such an individual is yeast that can leaven an entire loaf. It requires vision, initiative, patience, respect, persistence, courage, and faith to be a transforming leader.” - Stephen R. Covey". In the spirit of my new way of being, thank you Mary you made a real difference in my day.
Last Wednesday I was driving home, after 10 o'clock at night, exhausted, hadn't slept and hadn't eat and I just sat in my car and sobbed, uncontrollably. Feeling confronted, alone, scared, and like I am unable to do anything. Alot of it had to do the fact that I had not ate, and the rest had to do with the bottom line that I was putting my needs second to everyone else in my life and I was putting them second to needing to prove that I was good enough to do it all. I went to bed, up the next morning for work, and then again off after work for some homework for my program. Facing this homework created the most extreme emotional breakdown I have had in a long time. I am grateful for the people who were there and just listened.
The exercise consisted of looking in the mirror and being excited for yourself, telling yourself you are amazing and worth it. Mirror work has been around for a long time, but I had never done it. As I stood there looking in the mirror at myself i'm thinking "there is nothing to be excited for here". I resisted the whole exercise which took over 30 minutes, and hated every single minute of it. More tears, more tears, fast-forward to Saturday and I am having a conversation with one of my coaches about what happened. What I distinguished was that my whole identity was based on me not being good enough and that I had to hold onto that very tight in order to survive from a young age. I really really got that I was being someone who wasn't worth excitement or acknowledgment. I got that I was really good at acknowledging other people. I got that I love to be everyone's cheerleader, but in the process I am not my own cheerleader. I got that by not actually being someone who takes acknowledgment like FOR REAL takes it I do not allow room for people around me to be ok with having them be acknowledged. I was present to all of this, and at the same time overcome with so much emotion. I created a new possibility for my life on Sunday though. The possibility I invented for myself and my life is the possibility of being open to incredible contribution. I had thought at first that I wanted the possibility of being a contribution but I now understand that I am a contribution already, I need to allow other's to contribute to me.
So from Sunday afternoon I have been living through the lense of accepting acknowledgement and I was so honored to get up in front of probably 300 people and take a thank you for what I had done for someone. It is amazing when you open yourself up to seeing things in a different light what can actually be available for you. I'm not saying it's easy for me to accept acknowledgement overnight, it's still a work in progress, but inside of my possibility of being open to incredible contribution each day I am taking a step to move me closer to that simply being the way I am. Being simply open to it, this morning I received a facebook message from my sister-in-law which simply said "This reminds me of you: “I am personally convinced that one person can be a change catalyst, a "transformer" in any situation, any organization. Such an individual is yeast that can leaven an entire loaf. It requires vision, initiative, patience, respect, persistence, courage, and faith to be a transforming leader.” - Stephen R. Covey". In the spirit of my new way of being, thank you Mary you made a real difference in my day.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Ucluelet Adventure
This is the first time I am sitting down at my home computer to reflect on my last few days. On Sunday I got home from a wonderful weekend away with some amazing women. After talking about having a weekend away, Raeleen mentioned a lovely spot in Ucluelet that she goes to and the planner in me kicked in. Date picked, location booked, spa day planned. The location was absolutely beautiful, the house was right on the beach with a breath taking view. There was even a hot tub on the deck, turned into more of a "warm" tub however.
Bethany, Raeleen, Jaylene and I arrived first and got ourselves some wine and in the tub. A few hours later the rest of our crew (Nicki, Rebecca, Lisa and Elizabeth) joined us after a long after work drive from Victoria. I could go on and on about the laughs, memories and connections over the weekend but I think the pictures do it more justice.
A windy walk on the Wild Pacific Trail
A day at the spa
A run on the beach
Group photo opportunity
Followed by a relaxing drive down island stopping at some for some more photos
I am so incredibly blessed to have these people in my life. I would like to share who they are for me.
Nicki is someone who represents complete confidence, so sure of who she is and what is important to her. Always stood for me stretching myself to my limits.
Bethany is someone who is completely dedicated to her health, so strong!
Raeleen is someone who listens for what is important and can relate to me on a deep level.
Lisa is someone who cares so much that everyone is taken care of.
Elizabeth is someone who is a stand for her family and taking care of the people in her life.
Rebecca is someone who is caring, compassionate and super funny.
Jaylene is someone who is creative and willing to take risks.
My list could go on and on, thank you for the lovely weekend ladies and for your continued friendship and support of my crazy ventures in this world.
Bethany, Raeleen, Jaylene and I arrived first and got ourselves some wine and in the tub. A few hours later the rest of our crew (Nicki, Rebecca, Lisa and Elizabeth) joined us after a long after work drive from Victoria. I could go on and on about the laughs, memories and connections over the weekend but I think the pictures do it more justice.
A windy walk on the Wild Pacific Trail
A day at the spa
A run on the beach
Group photo opportunity
Followed by a relaxing drive down island stopping at some for some more photos
I am so incredibly blessed to have these people in my life. I would like to share who they are for me.
Nicki is someone who represents complete confidence, so sure of who she is and what is important to her. Always stood for me stretching myself to my limits.
Bethany is someone who is completely dedicated to her health, so strong!
Raeleen is someone who listens for what is important and can relate to me on a deep level.
Lisa is someone who cares so much that everyone is taken care of.
Elizabeth is someone who is a stand for her family and taking care of the people in her life.
Rebecca is someone who is caring, compassionate and super funny.
Jaylene is someone who is creative and willing to take risks.
My list could go on and on, thank you for the lovely weekend ladies and for your continued friendship and support of my crazy ventures in this world.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
I Will NEVER be the Same Human
Have you ever had that experience where you do something that terrifies you and you come out on the other side a completely different person? Maybe it is conquering your fear of heights or having a conversation you should have had years ago. The experience of actually knowing you will never be the same human being ever again is something you can't even explain. That experience was what this last Tuesday was for me.
In my last post I talked about being invited to share my story at Sole Sisters and taking on that challenge. On Tuesday I fulfilled on that talk beyond my own expectations. It was an experience I am incredibly proud of, something that I know that I would never have done before, something that proves just how far I have really come. Leading up to Tuesday my stomach was in knots, my head was spinning and I had written absolutely nothing. Me - the planner - NOTHING written! I was planning on just getting up there and sharing, and then the thought of having no idea what I was going to say became too overwhelming that I decided I was going to write in anyway. I wrote the whole thing the day before my speech AND in comparing the written to the spoken they are completely different. On Tuesday I stood up in front of nearly 200 people that I had never met in my life (with the exception of a couple people) and shared my personal experience, I really shared my heart and laid it all out there. I was connected with 200 people, and receiving the acknowledgment was simply incredible. Being told that I brought goosebumps to peoples arms is mind blowing to me. Me changing live? i'm not that "big" of a person, so I thought, but I really am...I REALLY can make a difference in this world and that is what I got on Tuesday. Big thank you to Bethany for coming as my support - you don't even know the difference you made in my life that night so thank you. For those that missed the video, it is of coarse recorded.
So what is next is the big question? Whatever the world holds!! Right now I am working on a project to create the next Journey to Balance event which is scheduled for May 26th (afternoon) at Esquimalt Rec - save the date! Big things to come for this girl.
In my last post I talked about being invited to share my story at Sole Sisters and taking on that challenge. On Tuesday I fulfilled on that talk beyond my own expectations. It was an experience I am incredibly proud of, something that I know that I would never have done before, something that proves just how far I have really come. Leading up to Tuesday my stomach was in knots, my head was spinning and I had written absolutely nothing. Me - the planner - NOTHING written! I was planning on just getting up there and sharing, and then the thought of having no idea what I was going to say became too overwhelming that I decided I was going to write in anyway. I wrote the whole thing the day before my speech AND in comparing the written to the spoken they are completely different. On Tuesday I stood up in front of nearly 200 people that I had never met in my life (with the exception of a couple people) and shared my personal experience, I really shared my heart and laid it all out there. I was connected with 200 people, and receiving the acknowledgment was simply incredible. Being told that I brought goosebumps to peoples arms is mind blowing to me. Me changing live? i'm not that "big" of a person, so I thought, but I really am...I REALLY can make a difference in this world and that is what I got on Tuesday. Big thank you to Bethany for coming as my support - you don't even know the difference you made in my life that night so thank you. For those that missed the video, it is of coarse recorded.
So what is next is the big question? Whatever the world holds!! Right now I am working on a project to create the next Journey to Balance event which is scheduled for May 26th (afternoon) at Esquimalt Rec - save the date! Big things to come for this girl.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Yes Woman
!!!!YES!!!!!
That word has propelled me through this journey, it has put me on some amazing paths where I had to trust and learn to be with me. Now I say yes ALOT, actually I make it a point to say yes whenever possible because I know what can open up for me when I take risks. So in this space a couple weeks ago I went for my chiropractor appointment. My chiro has been trying to get me to come share my experience at a run club she is part of called Sole Sisters. In my epic wisdom this time I said "sure i'm willing to take this on"...I'm thinking I talk to 30 Biggest Winners at a time what's the difference? A couple days later I receive a call from the leader of the Sole Sisters to confirm the details of the speech. 20 minutes later, all the details worked out, I ask a question to confirm how many people she was expecting. The answer TWO HUNDRED!!! I think I must have sounded slightly scared in my response given she said "ummm is that ok?". As I was gathering my response I reminded myself of my stand, that everyone I touch is empowered to take on their life. Inside of that, my response was "YES, no problem, I can take that on"
Instantly after hanging up the phone though my gut started churning, I was thinking what have I agreed to do? Me, 200 people?? i'm not that "big" i'm not important enough to do that. That conversation hasn't gone away, and in spite of it, I am putting the conversation and the thoughts to the side and doing it anyway. In spite of a conversation going on in my head I am seeing past that to what is bigger than me, the people I can impact.
So what did I learn? Well, perhaps sometimes I should ask more questions before I agree to things....AND say yes anyway, in spite of what you think is logical, in the face of being afraid do it anyway. I've done a LOT of scary things these last twelve months, what is 200 people in the grand scheme of things?? My intention, speak from my heart, share my experiences and stand for every person who is listening to see themselves in something I say.
That word has propelled me through this journey, it has put me on some amazing paths where I had to trust and learn to be with me. Now I say yes ALOT, actually I make it a point to say yes whenever possible because I know what can open up for me when I take risks. So in this space a couple weeks ago I went for my chiropractor appointment. My chiro has been trying to get me to come share my experience at a run club she is part of called Sole Sisters. In my epic wisdom this time I said "sure i'm willing to take this on"...I'm thinking I talk to 30 Biggest Winners at a time what's the difference? A couple days later I receive a call from the leader of the Sole Sisters to confirm the details of the speech. 20 minutes later, all the details worked out, I ask a question to confirm how many people she was expecting. The answer TWO HUNDRED!!! I think I must have sounded slightly scared in my response given she said "ummm is that ok?". As I was gathering my response I reminded myself of my stand, that everyone I touch is empowered to take on their life. Inside of that, my response was "YES, no problem, I can take that on"
Instantly after hanging up the phone though my gut started churning, I was thinking what have I agreed to do? Me, 200 people?? i'm not that "big" i'm not important enough to do that. That conversation hasn't gone away, and in spite of it, I am putting the conversation and the thoughts to the side and doing it anyway. In spite of a conversation going on in my head I am seeing past that to what is bigger than me, the people I can impact.
So what did I learn? Well, perhaps sometimes I should ask more questions before I agree to things....AND say yes anyway, in spite of what you think is logical, in the face of being afraid do it anyway. I've done a LOT of scary things these last twelve months, what is 200 people in the grand scheme of things?? My intention, speak from my heart, share my experiences and stand for every person who is listening to see themselves in something I say.
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